So as most of you know I tore my Achilles last week. This has been a pretty hard pill for me to swallow. I had a lot planned for this year. And now with a combination of not listening to my body and taking care of my body it is all been put on hold. A ton of things have run through my mind in the past week. My emotions are right there under the surface, and it has taken everything I have to hold them in check and not let them take over. Not that I have always won. For me this means I have to give up something that I LOVE for the time being...LIFTING HEAVY SHIT OFF THE GROUND. This has become something I love to do! I had planned on going to Colorado to compete in an Olympic lifting CrossFit competition. And a week long trip of hiking, biking and kayaking was to be part of this. Now I sit here and listen to the others talk about MY trip, and have to control every crazy, jealous emotion that runs through me and try not to cry in front of everyone. And then there was the Dallas All City Open in December. Not to mention, Sectionals in March, Regionals in May, and the Games in July. WHY?!?!?!?! Plus I workout for a living. How do I bring in an income when I am in a cast/boot and crutches. What happens now? Everyone says there is a reason for everything...well WHAT then?!?! Not to mention that on top of all this I am supposed to remain positive and look on the bright side. Hmmm....
So I have done some thinking, and soul searching...and while I still don't know the reason why this happened, I do know that I am still going t0 work hard to be positive and happy while I am in this situation. I do need to remain positive, not only because I believe that it will help in my healing process, but for those around me. I have discovered in this past week that I have incredible people in my life. Some that I might have been taking for granted in the past. So happy and positive here I come. It will help everyone involved in my life. I will work on my coaching skills. I want to work on my communication skills. I have to find another way that I can help our CrossFit community and still provide for myself. I have had great success with my own weight loss and new healthy life style..so I want to be more active with others in that department. And most importantly I am going to work on my mental game. There is a lot going through my head right now. A lot that I have to deal with. And a lot of stuff that I need to get stronger about. And I don't mean lifting heavy. I may be a tough little bird on the outside, but my biggest challenge through everything has always been in my mind. So now it is time to make that stronger.
This is going to be a long, hard road for me. I know this. There are many bumps coming up. Many challenges. And most likely there will be moments where I want to give in, stomp my foot (the good one) and cry. But I am going to be stronger then that! I want to be strong physically and mentally. I hope this is not the reason that this happened. But I am sure going to make it an reason to become a better person inside and out! I know there will be weak moments, but then I will have to dry up and move on. So here goes nothing!!!
And watch out! I am coming back with a VENGEANCE!! I will get to do those things that have been put on hold! And I will be a much stronger person when I finally get to do them! So watch out...and get ready to watch me conquer this hurdle.
Shelby
ReplyDeleteGreat post, one trait of a great leader is transparency. Check.
2nd) a trait of a great coach (and human) is honoring all your emotions. It is OK to be mad or sad, or whatever, and its important to feel it, embrace and work through it vs, stuffing it away. We don't want you to be perfect, we just want you to be authentic.
Finally of course everything happens for a reason, but the reasons are hardly ever reveled in the moment. Looking for that reason right now is pretty pointless. The perfection in the situation will be reveled, but it will likely be later rather than sooner.
You'll get through this, for sure, the question is how can you enjoy the ride?
Hey girl,
ReplyDeleteYou inspire all of us, not just your athletic abilities, but also your passion for others. Your heart is good and you show it each day. The days you feel like letting a few tears out, DO IT. Don't bottle them up, but fine tune the perspective. Don't cry to loose.... cry to win! Winning can take on many forms and I know you have already won. I am praying for a complete recovery and an awesome war story to go with it. It's people's battles and challenges that inspire others. We look for heros to light that fire inside us, so that we can truely see that anything is possible, especially with God's help.
Love ya sister and always rooting for you.