My pain...

So as most of you know I tore my Achilles last week. This has been a pretty hard pill for me to swallow. I had a lot planned for this year. And now with a combination of not listening to my body and taking care of my body it is all been put on hold. A ton of things have run through my mind in the past week. My emotions are right there under the surface, and it has taken everything I have to hold them in check and not let them take over. Not that I have always won. For me this means I have to give up something that I LOVE for the time being...LIFTING HEAVY SHIT OFF THE GROUND. This has become something I love to do! I had planned on going to Colorado to compete in an Olympic lifting CrossFit competition. And a week long trip of hiking, biking and kayaking was to be part of this. Now I sit here and listen to the others talk about MY trip, and have to control every crazy, jealous emotion that runs through me and try not to cry in front of everyone. And then there was the Dallas All City Open in December. Not to mention, Sectionals in March, Regionals in May, and the Games in July. WHY?!?!?!?! Plus I workout for a living. How do I bring in an income when I am in a cast/boot and crutches. What happens now? Everyone says there is a reason for everything...well WHAT then?!?! Not to mention that on top of all this I am supposed to remain positive and look on the bright side. Hmmm....

So I have done some thinking, and soul searching...and while I still don't know the reason why this happened, I do know that I am still going t0 work hard to be positive and happy while I am in this situation. I do need to remain positive, not only because I believe that it will help in my healing process, but for those around me. I have discovered in this past week that I have incredible people in my life. Some that I might have been taking for granted in the past. So happy and positive here I come. It will help everyone involved in my life. I will work on my coaching skills. I want to work on my communication skills. I have to find another way that I can help our CrossFit community and still provide for myself. I have had great success with my own weight loss and new healthy life style..so I want to be more active with others in that department. And most importantly I am going to work on my mental game. There is a lot going through my head right now. A lot that I have to deal with. And a lot of stuff that I need to get stronger about. And I don't mean lifting heavy. I may be a tough little bird on the outside, but my biggest challenge through everything has always been in my mind. So now it is time to make that stronger.

This is going to be a long, hard road for me. I know this. There are many bumps coming up. Many challenges. And most likely there will be moments where I want to give in, stomp my foot (the good one) and cry. But I am going to be stronger then that! I want to be strong physically and mentally. I hope this is not the reason that this happened. But I am sure going to make it an reason to become a better person inside and out! I know there will be weak moments, but then I will have to dry up and move on. So here goes nothing!!!

And watch out! I am coming back with a VENGEANCE!! I will get to do those things that have been put on hold! And I will be a much stronger person when I finally get to do them! So watch out...and get ready to watch me conquer this hurdle.

Get on track

Okay so it has been WWAAYY to long since I have written in this. I am going to get back to this from here on out. I am sorry that I have not kept up with it. I let myself think that I am to busy to write. Also I felt that I have had nothing to write about. This is so not true. I have some of the most amazing people in my life right now, and their stories are the ones I should be telling.

So starting this week I am going to start telling you about some of the people that have touched my life this summer! Those who have inspired me, those who have motivated me, and those who just a great people through and through. I want to share about these people in hopes that they will help you too.